I Am No Baker and Here's No Great Matter.

My first attempt at making a cake from scratch. The results were unnerving and not in a good way.

For reference, this is how it was supposed to look:

Gadgetry

Passive Agressive #2: Go to Hell, Hippies

Okay, let me explain the above image. I worked an extremely slow/ "dead" waitressing shift tonight. When the next server clocked-in, I was cut and sat down to eat my shift-meal and drink my shift-drink. Almost immediately after I clocked-out, the restaurant got relatively busy and my replacement server (we'll call him "Calvin") had many customers to deal with. One of my friends came into the restaurant, and we decided to go to a bar across the street to have a drink. Having not finished my meal, but not wanting to waste food, I asked Calvin for a to-go box.

The restaurant I work at is owned by a very nice woman (who I generally like quite a bit) who considers herself an environment friendly person. We are currently making a transition from plastic to-go boxes to more environmentally friendly boxes made of sugar-cane, which are completely biodegradable. Yeah I know, props to us. However, the biodegradable boxes costs about 10X the plastic boxes, and my boss (the environmentally friendly woman) has asked that the staff not use the expensive biodegradable boxes.

Now that you know the back story, let me explain tonight's events. As I had drank my shift-drink and could not legally go into the server area myself (it's a North Carolina law thing), I asked Calvin for a to-go box. Calvin, who is new and not trained in our bosses' money saving pet-peeves (meaning he doesn't know the difference between the expensive and less expensive to-go boxes), gave me a sugarcane to-go box. Understanding that he was busy and not to be burden, I accepted the box. I told Calvin I would be back for my food, left the box sitting on the counter, and then went to the bar across the street to drink beers and shoot pool with my friend. When I came back to retrieve my food a couple hours or so later, I found the above pictured message written on my box.

What I find funny about the situation is that instead of signing her name, my boss signed "enviro nazi," when the fact of the matter is the to-go box in question, being made from biodegradable sugar-cane, is actually much better for the environment than a plastic box. Had she written a note saying "Hey these boxes cost me a shitton of money and are for customers only," I would have totally understood. But for real, you're going to write a note, signed with a pretentious as fuck pseudonym, implying that my unwillingness to reprimand my coworker over his improper to-go box selection hurt the environment when, in fact, all it hurt was your wallet? By the way these hippy-chic to-go boxes cost her whopping $.35 a pop, an amount I would willingly pay to avoid this whole ordeal.

To make the situation even more ridiculous, I passed her on the street as I was returning to the restaurant to retrieve my food. She smiled at me and said, "Hey! How are you? Oh, I left a note on your box. Have a good night!" How fucking passive-aggressive can you be (0ver a mother-fucking to-go box)?

And You Thought It Was An Urban Pen Myth!

My boyfriend owns some really random things.

Passive-Aggressive Scholastic

This is a page from the textbook for my theater class. In case you can't read the highlighted section, it says "Playwrights, by their creative natures, generally have vivid imaginations, which can and often do lead to both mania and paranoia."

In the interest of scholastic impartiality, I would like to suggest the addition of the sentence "Actors, by the nature of their exaggerated salaries, generally have inflated egos, which can and often do lead to utter douchebaggery."

Why There's a Bruise On My Ass

Our porch gets no sunlight, so the snow melts here last. It snowed a week and a half ago. This situation is bad.

TMI

I stubbed my toe a couple days after Christmas, so it has looked exactly like this for over a month now. I starting to wonder if I should be concerned.